Reflection

Wednesday was a day that I wasn't sure how I was going to feel.  This past Wednesday, May 22nd, was the due date of our little one that we won't get to meet until we are in Heaven.  After I miscarried, that was the day that I was sure I would really struggle with.

With all that's been going on around our house (fairly major remodel that I will someday get around to posting pictures of), the day really did sneak up on me.  It's actually really hard for me to even comprehend that I could have a newborn right now.  That just almost seems unreal.  They are still working on our house, and with busy season at work, I have no idea how we would have put a nursery together and still be sane.  I know it would have happened, but it's still just a little hard to comprehend. 

Surprisingly, it really wasn't as hard of a day as I thought it would be, and I have a feeling that's because we are rejoicing in knowing that God has given us another chance.  I hit the 2nd trimester mark within 1 day of our little one's due date.  I certainly think that getting pregnant again has really helped in the healing process.  But, if you've read any of my other posts lately, it has also led to a lot more fear and anxiety this time around.

I did take a few moments on Wednesday as I was driving to Houston to reflect and think about it and there was a little sadness, but as I said before, I know that His timing is perfect, even if we don't understand it.  Some day we will get to meet our other child, and won't that be a joyful experience!

My cousin Michael and his wife Rebecca were also expecting at the same time we were last fall and their due date was within days of ours.  I am THRILLED to say that she gave birth to a BIG, healthy baby boy on Monday.  What a joy to have another Morgan great-grandbaby boy!