While I love that I'm pregnant, I HATE this stage of pregnancy. After losing a baby this fall, I can't help but be concerned. I constantly pray for peace of mind, but it's a weakness that I certainly struggle with. With Carson, the thought of miscarriage almost never crossed my mind. Now, I just have these awful feelings that something will happen again. I know I shouldn't worry but I just feel like I got the same news as last time and am in this waiting game for bad news. Terrible. I know. Last time they said my progesterone was low early on and I ended up miscarrying, so when they tell me it's low again, I immediately (as much as I don't want to) fear the worst.
I feel like a prior miscarriage robs you of your ability to enjoy pregnancy (or at least for the first 12 weeks or so). Maybe it's just me, but I think anyone that's been through it knows that it's different the next time.
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Whew... HUGE sigh of relief today!
I have never had an ultrasound really early on with Carson, but I guess they are nicer to you after a miscarriage and want to try to give you a little piece of mind as soon as they can. I was so nervous to go in for our ultrasound because the last time we were in that room, we did not get good news.
Well.... we got to see our {very} little nugget today and when she pointed to the heart beating I just burst into tears. She wasn't sure if we'd be able to hear it or not, but she turned the sound up and there it was. Music to my ears! I was so emotional. The heart rate was 128, which she said was very good this early on. The baby measured 6w 5d which is right where we thought it would be. Again, HUGE sigh of relief. We didn't ever get to hear a heartbeat last fall. I know that it's still early, but I finally feel a little peace about being pregnant again. I'd hardly allowed myself to enjoy it yet or be too excited because I learned the hard way how quickly things can change.
In terms of how I've been physically feeling, well, I certainly have felt very pregnant this past week or so. I remember with Carson around weeks five and six were really the only time I ever didn't feel good. I haven't thrown up or anything but certainly do feel very nauseous, pretty much all day. I don't have much of an appetite and most hot foods are very unappealing. I prefer cold foods without a doubt. I want fruit juices like apple or cran-grape (not orange) and smoothies. I'm pretty sure that was a craving I had with Carson too.
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