Surprise!!!

Now that that it is "Facebook Official", I can finally publish some of the blog posts written up to this point that have patiently been waiting in "Draft" form until we got more into the "safe zone". 
 

So, here's the first one from the day I found out we were expecting again...

 

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Certainly wasn't expecting this today (3/26/13)....

 

I didn't even realize that I was late until I looked at my calendar.  As you know, we found out we were pregnant last September and then miscarried at around 10 weeks.  Initially I thought that as soon as I had the "all clear" to start trying again, I would be ready too.  Emotionally I was ready.  I had accepted what had happened and was okay with it, but something in me just said to slow down.  There wasn't a rush.  I feel like I was in such a rush to get pregnant with #2 that I had forgotten to embrace and enjoy all the fun things we were experiencing with Carson.  I was so full of 'baby fever' that I didn't realize how much fun Carson was at this stage.  Once I realized that, I was no longer in a hurry.  Additionally, if we had gotten pregnant right off the bat, it would have meant having a baby during Andrew's busy time of year. 

 

Then, as most of you know, on December 1st, our house was broken into while we were home by a crazy, doped up guy with a knife.  After that happened, I was SO thankful I wasn't pregnant.  My stress level during that event and in the days to follow was through the roof, which definitely would not have been good for a baby.  Further, in January we started doing the work on our house to fix what was messed up, along with pretty much a full blown kitchen remodel.  There have been paint fumes, lifting stuff, LOTS of dust, stress of living in a completely disorganized house, etc.  Again, SO thankful that I wasn't pregnant when all of this was going on.  As with so many things in life, maybe in some weird way, our miscarriage in the fall was a blessing in disguise.

 

This was also my first year as a Manager at work and we have lots of new staff.  Being 8-9 months pregnant during busy season did not sound fun and leaving during busy season to go on maternity leave would have caused a little anxiety for everyone.

 

 Of course, if I had been pregnant during all of this, I know that He would have gotten me through it, but I'm just convinced that everything has happened according to His timing. 

 

We had been 'playing it safe' if you will ever since the miscarriage and thought that we'd quit playing it safe when getting pregnant meant a baby born sometime after Christmas, preferably February or really any time in the spring. 

 

Well... apparently it only takes not playing it safe one time at the right time to wind up pregnant.  I was pretty sure it was not my "fertile time", but apparently it was.  Whoops!!! ;-) I have to admit, I kind of always wanted to get pregnant that way... more fun! :-) 

 

While I am THRILLED to be blessed with being a mommy again, having lost a baby, I already feel a lot more anxiety this time around.  I don't feel like I am allowing myself to be too excited yet, which is unfortunate.  For most people, finding out you are pregnant is such an exciting time, but as excited as I am, I have never been more fearful as well.  With Carson, I think I was in pregnancy la-la land and the thought of something happening never even hardly crossed my mind.  Ignorance is bliss, I guess.

 

Please keep us in your prayers.  Pray for the health of this baby and that we can enjoy the miracle that is being created inside of me instead of fearing what could happen again.

 

I did the math with one of the online due date calculators and our due date should be somewhere between November 28th and December 3rd!  Looks like I could possibly be sharing my birthday with this little one or we could be having Thanksgiving in the hospital!

 

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I'm so glad the Big Brother shirt I bought last fall still fit!  I was hopeful he'd be able to wear it again soon, and he got to!