Trusting Him...again

Well folks, we're back to square one. Over the weekend, I found out that our nanny is going to have to quit due to some health problems. She's only been here a little over a month and everything was going really good and we were all just getting used to the situation.

One of my biggest fears going back to work was not being able to find someone to come to the house to take care of Carson. I really didn't want to take the daycare route if at all possible - mostly so he wouldn't get sick all the time, but also because I have the benefit of working from home and not having to pack him up every day would be awesome. Even though I'm home, I really am back in my little office working, but it is so nice to see the little man at lunch or on the (probably more than necessary) coffee and/or water refill break. I also have LOVED having someone help around the house with the light housework. That's definitely another huge perk of having someone come here.

Back in the late fall, I prayed every day that the right person would come into our lives to take care of our precious son. Everything just fell into place. The nanny we found was the sister of one of the ladies at church that I have gotten to be good friends with. Her sister had been a care giver in various capacities but was ready for a change. It all just seemed too perfect and easy. I just considered it an answer to my prayers.

When I got the news over the weekend that her arrhythmia was flaring up again, my heart just sank. It breaks for her because she is far too young to be having heart problems, but also because she can't afford insurance and hasn't been able to get the care she really needs. The arrhythmia had never really been an issue until the last couple months. She ended up in the hospital in December one day/night because it got so bad. She’s had several episodes in the last month that really scared her too, where it lasted for 30+ seconds and she was really short of breath. She’s been really tired and told me there was a few times when she was walking with Carson around my house when she got really dizzy. It’s become so unpredictable that she’s just not comfortable caring for an infant. I’m not either. I definitely don’t feel comfortable leaving the house anymore knowing this is going on. I think she’s going to try to work until we find someone else, if she can. I just won’t be leaving the house anymore.

When I talked to her about it on Monday, of course, I put on my smiley face and told her everything would be okay and that I understood why she couldn't continue working. Deep down I'm saying to myself, "Fan-Freakin'-Tastic... what do I do now?" I am trying so hard to view this as she was just the placeholder until the perfect, permanent person came along. I continue to pray that the right person will come into our lives. I'm getting the word out at church and will probably place another ad on southeasttexas.com. I'm trying not to stress and worry, and instead give it to God. It's SO hard though. So, I ask for your prayers as well that we will find the right person and that I can fully release my worry to God. I also ask you pray that our nanny will be able to get the care she needs and that her condition will begin to be under control. I know she is scared too.