It's Really Hard to Believe...

...that on this day last year, we were at St. Elizabeth's in Beaumont anxiously awaiting for our little man to make his debut into the world.

Ready to Go! (Pretty sure that shirt no longer fit and that my belly is hanging out the bottom.)


I was HUGE!


All Situated!


Let's Walk this Baby Out! (Didn't work.)


I was still all smiles at this point...it got pretty rough for a while after that, but the end result was the most precious gift, more than I could have ever imagined.

I think the way I have my pictures on my computer pretty much sums up life. There was the "Pictures" folder that had many different albums organized by date. Then, I created the "Carson" folder and EVERYTHING goes in there now. At 12:39am on July 22, 2010, our life was forever changed. Our life is now about HIM, and I wouldn't change a thing.

As thrilled as I am to be entering toddler-hood, I still find it hard to believe we no longer have a "baby." I'm thankful he will still snuggle with he, and I still enjoy giving him his bottle in the morning and at night. We're working on the bottle weaning though. We've finally found a sippy that he'll drink more than just water out of.

So, tomorrow is the big day. Our little man will be ONE. I still don't know where the time has gone. People that weren't even pregnant when he was born have already had their babies. I feel like he'll be in Kindergarten before we know it, then graduating high school, then college, then getting a job, then getting married, then having his OWN kids. NO, this must slow down! I know it's cliche, but TIME DOES FLY, especially when you are having fun!

It's certainly not easy, but it's worth it. I'm still struggling with how to juggle A child (God Bless those with more, I don't know how you do it!), a marriage, a job, keeping a house [somewhat] in order, responsibilities at church, and trying to make time for myself as well for both "quiet" time and pursuing hobbies (which I have put on the back burner and learned that I need to make time for this). I think every mom faces this struggle on a daily basis. If anyone has it figured out, PLEASE let me know. I pray daily to find joy in household chores and responsibilities and to have patience and exhibit grace in all that I do. I fail. A LOT. I know that my current calling is to be the best wife and mother that I can be. I feel that I generally keep up with the mother part, but the wife part tends to take the back seat...and it shouldn't. I'm convinced that part of my problem is that I don't have a schedule. This is certainly part of the problem of working from home. I don't set an alarm and generally get up when Carson wakes up, which is 7-7:30. I work all day (usually quite a bit past 5 just because I didn't get at least 8 hours of actual work in during the day due to distractions around the house...another problem of working from home), get Carson ready for bed while Andrew cooks, eat late, clean the kitchen, and then by the time that's all over it's 10-10:30. Where is the time for Andrew? Where is the time for me? There isn't any. I had a little melt down earlier in the week and whined to Andrew about how he has a passion/hobby (given the time of year, it is currently fishing) that he gets to pursue on a regular basis. I was being selfish and whining that I didn't have any ME time to do anything. He promptly reminded me that he gets up at 4:00 in the morning to do that BEFORE work. Good Point. So, I decided to start getting up earlier (NOT at 4 AM though) and having "me" time. Wow. Already LOVE it. Actually finishing a cup of coffee while it's hot = AMAZING. :-) Finishing the little dress I started on Saturday = AMAZING. Not rushing through my devotional = AMAZING. Silence = AMAZING. I'm thinking a couple days a week this time should be devoted to me and the other days spent with Andrew. When was the last time we sat and ate breakfast together and talked? Alone? Couldn't tell ya...

I just realized this was the first post in a while with any "feelings" to it. Want to know why? Probably because I haven't devoted any time to my feelings...I've been running on auto pilot.

Remember the Mary and Martha story? (Luke 10:38-42)... I think moms are SO often the Martha's...busy, busy, busy doing things for others. Jesus reminded her not to worry about all the little things and instead concentrate on what was important. In this story, he wanted Martha to be like Mary who was sitting quietly and contently listening to Him. I can honestly say it's pretty hard to sit quiety and contently and listen for God to speak without thinking about what all I have to do or some other distraction running through my head.

I think a verse I could read every day is, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6) I need to quit worrying and trying to do everything and just trust God. Easy, right? :-) Wouldn't it be nice if a "Chill Pill" actually existed???

Happy Thursday!